20 Steps to being happier and gaining control of your life.

Do you want to be happier and feel you have more control of your life? Then become proactive. You can start by stopping these 20 behaviors.

  1. Stop surrounding yourself with unhappy people.

Unhappy people are contagious and their unhappiness can easily be picked up by you. Once you have adopted their unhappiness it becomes indistinguishable from your own. Strip away the unhappiness you have picked up from others, and you’ll find you become much happier.

  1. Stop living in the past.

Living in the past, and holding onto all the guilt, frustration and criticism, creates the backdrop for your present life. We were not placed here to dwell in the past. Learn from it, incorporate it, and move on. And while you’re at it, stop worrying about the future. You have no control of the future. It will happen, or it won’t. Worrying about it, will not make it happen, but your approach to it, is most important, as that reduces needless stresses.

  1. Stop activities that make you unhappy.

If you are not happy participating in an activity, don’t do it. And this includes your profession. Why spend your precious time being miserable when there are so many things you would love to do?

  1. Stop listening to the news.

The news used to be a way we learned about what was happening around us, but that was a time when we had reporters. Its purpose now is to use celebrities to elicit emotional responses that create depression, fear, anger and hatred, as they simply repeat what is fed to them through their headsets. Don’t fall for the deceptions disguised as news, just as you shouldn’t fall for the deceptions of celebrities disguised as news reporters.

  1. Stop negative social media.

If participating in social media makes you angry or depressed, then don’t do it. Life is too short to be emotionally involved in someone else’s paradigm. You already have you own paradigms, so why would you willingly take on someone else’s.

  1. Stop complaining.

Complaining is the adult way of whining like a child wanting attention. No one cares about your complaining. So, instead of complaining, present solutions, because it is with the solutions, the purpose of the complaining disappears.

  1. Stop fearing.

Fear is one of the most debilitating activities we can be involved in. Fear paralyzes us into submission. We fear everything, and by fearing we lose the chance to embrace life. Fear consumes your essence and forces you to stand still. Fear nothing, for there is nothing to fear.

  1. Stop identifying with labels.

We are not the labels we all use to describe and isolate ourselves. We are not political party affiliations. We are not religious institution affiliations. We are not color differences. We are not organizational differences. We are us. Human beings, and we all belong to the only race on the planet, the human race. Stop looking for ways to separate yourself from others. Join with others of this human race and celebrate our unification.

  1. Stop trying to change things you can’t change.

If you can’t change it, then ignore it. Why spend your life frustrated and angry worrying about issues, people, or situations you have no control over? Try changing yourself instead. Your perceptions of yourself, and the world you live in, are in your control. You’re worth the effort.

  1. Stop trying to live up to others expectations.

By living up to others expectations you lose sight of yourself. Besides, others who have failed to live up to their own expectations are always willing push their own failures onto you. Misery loves company so why oblige them?

  1. Stop trying to prove you are right.

It isn’t about being right, it’s about attaining learning and knowledge, and you can’t learn if you are not listening. When someone disagrees with you, simply ask “can you elaborate on that.” It allows them a chance to express their motivations, and by learning why they think the way they do, you gain valuable knowledge. It’s your way of walking in their shoes.

  1. Stop blaming others.

No one else is responsible for your decisions. Your perceptions are your own and blaming others for what you perceive is like having an argument with a manikin for what the ventriloquists said. You have to discern who is making your decisions, you or your ego. If it is your ego, then take control back. If it is you, then you have no one else to blame but yourself.

  1. Stop giving up control.

You have the option of taking control of your ego or not. By taking control you begin to make decisions for yourself rather than for ego’s insatiable appetite. When you take control, you realized your needs and wants are totally different. You have needs, and ego has wants. You must constantly ask yourself, “is this for my better good, or egos.” Do you NEED to be in debt, or do you WANT to be in debt?

  1. Stop the defeatist talk.

Negativity breeds negativity. If you believe you’re not worth it, it is your ego maintaining control over you by convincing you you’re not worth it. There are plenty of people out there who will gladly beat you up, so why do you want to follow the crowd. Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right, so why not be in the I-can-do-it corner with “Bob the builder.”

  1. Stop limiting yourself.

Restricting yourself is another ego game to maintain control over you allowing you to go so far and then reeling you back in convincing you, you need it. Limits are designed so ego can give you permission to not achieve.

  1. Stop the attachments to stuff.

Stuff is stuff. You will never see a U-Haul behind a Herse because you can’t take it with you. I love my Beemer, I am dying for that boat, we can afford the higher monthly payments of that house. Ego, ego, ego. It’s all about the want, not the need.

  1. Stop criticizing.

It is easy to criticize. Adding fuel to the fire makes us a member the of the crowd, but it’s the cowards way out. Before you criticize, develop solution to the problem your criticizing. Creative thinking addresses not just the problem but also the solutions many other future problems.

  1. Stop trying to impress.

Ego! Impressing is a selfish motivation and totally controlled by ego. Be inspirational. Inspirational comes from knowledge and when used correctly, shows wisdom. Inspirational helps everyone.

  1. Stop resisting change.

Changing is mandatory. The only constant in life is change. Change is happening whether you want it or not. So, why not change on your terms, rather than being forced to change. It’s your choice. Either you set ego aside and voluntarily change or change while you’re kicking and screaming.

  1. Stop the excuses.

Excuses are like assholes, everybody has one. If you can’t see the benefits for yourself, then you have a lot more work to do. You know the way you should be living, so why not start living it. The only person in your way is you and your ego.

20 Steps to being happier and gaining control of your life – Copyright (c) 2017 – Henry G. Noel